We cannot control everything in life. We plan. We prepare. We discuss. But ultimately, some things will be out of our hands.
We can control how we react – in every situation.
I don’t just mean physical control. I also mean emotional control.
It seems impossible but our reaction to our emotions is at the mercy of our mind not the other way around.
You are driving down the road and someone cuts you off. You immediately feel anger. You can act out based upon that feeling – speed up and try and cut off the guy who cut you off – or you can shift your focus to something else and forgo the need to avenge this insignificant perceived wrong.
In the big picture – the course of your day, your week, your month or your life – this incident is insignificant. But the consequences of an extreme reaction to the emotion you feel in that moment could be life-altering.
Pause and allow that reality to soak in.
Watch the brief video I’ve included below. It will help you understand your emotions and control your reaction.
The number one reason business leaders fail has noting to do with task performance. It has everything to do with emotional control.
How To Control Your Emotions And Grow Your Business
Here is the edited transcript of this video:
Recently I was in a car with a friend and we were on our way to an event. We got to a traffic light and there was a long line of cars. Another driver wanted to cut in in front of us and the person kind of inched their car over.
My friend stopped, let the person in, and then something really amazing happened.
The person who cut in front of my friend did not wave and do the courtesy, “Hey, thanks” type of thing.
My friend got really upset. He said, “I can’t believe it!”
There was a visceral reaction. His face changed, his demeanor changed.
“That son-of-a-gun didn’t even say, ‘Thank you’ for me allowing him to cut in front of us on this long line of traffic.”
My friend was really upset and he spent the next 10 minutes going on and on about how people didn’t appreciate things and how he couldn’t believe that he didn’t get a thank you for letting this person cut in front of him, in front of traffic.
This minor slight changed his whole mood.
The lesson here is not about the guy who cut in front of our car. This was not about that person at all. This is about my friend and how he reacted to this situation.
In this situation, my friend allowed a minor emotional issue impact his outlook and behavior for the rest of the day.
This applies to all of us in the sense that we allow other people to have an impact on how we feel and how we feel impacts our behavior.
Here’s another example: Imagine you work with 40 different clients over the course of a week. Two of those clients are unhappy, but the other 38 clients with whom you’ve come into contact and to whom you’ve provided enormous value have expressed gratitude to you.
But two people really complained.
They were upset and they complained. The weekend comes along. Who do you spend your time thinking about? You think about the two people who complained and you don’t think about the 38 people who you served, who were impressed, happy, beyond satisfied. They were almost elated with the value you provided to them.
This is a huge lesson for all of us.
Focus on the things that are going right and don’t allow other people to dictate how you feel.
You control your emotions.
You control the way you react.
Don’t expect people to behave in a certain way and don’t allow your emotions to get carried away when they don’t meet your expectations.
I challenge you today to look at yourself and look at the 15 or 20 or 30 or 100 things you’ve done right over the course of the day. Focus on them and never let yourself be a victim of a bad reaction to a strong emotion.
Here are three additional resources you can use to take control of your business:
This is the most important question you can ask yourself at the end of the day. If you don’t like the answer, keep pushing forward until you get an answer you like.
If you communicate with your client more often you will sell more. That’s a fact. Discover how to touch base with your client more often without being annoying.
Workload too much? Here’s your guide for reducing it and still making money.